Tits Out!

I am back and my tits are metaphorically out! They are not literally out. I am wearing a top today that shows my nips because I didn't want to wear a bra, and I tried to put Band-Aids on them, but then they looked like little squares which I thought was way worse. So today I am channeling Rachel from Friends.

Anyways, I have been M.I.A. for about a month and a half. Where was she? you whisper, Did she get work done? Rehab?

None of the above, friends. Honestly, I just had a period of time where I felt like I didn't have anything to say. A lot of people would definitely disagree with this, given my propensity for sending 4 AM texts asking what someone's thoughts are on French toast, but French toast is an important anomaly.

Now I DO have things to say, a catch up for you all; an update that alludes to this new "tits out!" motto I have decided to imbibe.

The first is that I definitely hate yoga. The instructor keeps telling me to "relax" and "release tension," while I am thinking, "Ma'am, your outlook on life is way too optimistic." If you like yoga, snaps and claps for you. I hope you and yoga are very happy together. Yoga and I have only been on a few dates, but I don't see it going any further. #SorryYoga

The second is an open question: Why are people so obsessed with me? Please write a short 700-800 word essay in response and send to annamwesche@gmail.com

Thirdly, I am VERY into skirts right now. The more the merrier. I used to hate them because I thought they made me look like Taylor Swift (does she wear a lot of skirts or am I just making this up?), but now I am utterly on board. I just bought one from Zara the other day and have worn it three times since I received it in the mail last Wednesday. My roommate also told me it looked like her old middle school uniform, and I shed a few tears in my excitement.

 This is Photo 1. I clearly know who I am and what I am about. 

This is Photo 1. I clearly know who I am and what I am about. 

Something else: I wore sweatpants to go out the other night and THOROUGHLY enjoyed myself. Shout out to the black J. Crew joggers that I accidentally ordered last year. They look great with heels and I was very comfortable all-night long. They held up so well when I was calling people whilst sitting on the dirty sidewalk.

Next, I found an amazing $9 bottle of chianti at the liquor store up the street. I love going in there with the following attitude: "Oh, my ID? Because I am 21 and have no fears or qualms? Here you are." Then I make the face shown in Photo 1 because I am a smug child.

Another thing: I think I am going to be Cher for Halloween. Not Cher Horowitz (though she is an iconic goddess), but Cher the singer. Cher is so underrated; I could listen to her for the rest of my life. Tits out for Cher.

Lastly, on a more somber note, I have personally barred myself from a café on campus after I thought someone was reaching for my coffee and I verbally called out, "No!" He was only reaching for his bagel. I don't go there anymore.

Also, I went to New York Fashion Week in September, so I guess I am officially better than all of my exes. We made it!