I Can't Stop Cutting Up My Clothes

We’re not talking like tearing my clothes. I’m not the Hulk. I tried to lift 10-pound hand weights at the gym the other day and it was too hard, so I grabbed 7.5 pounders. Thus, I am not at the physical level of strength to tear my poly-cotton blend t-shirt off right now.

#athlete #softball #sportz #youcansortofseemyunderwear

No, I mean cutting with scissors, but tastefully. It’s very freeing. I am a new woman with less physical baggage (Sorry, there is still plenty of emotional baggage - so fun!).

The top I’m wearing in the picture to the right (I’m so sporty – I’m at a softball field) used to be a dress. It’s from Zara and I bought it for $14 last year. It used to look like the other picture below it (I’m so moody in my all-black) with the huge slit up the center. There have been some close calls with that particular stylistic element, ladies and gentleman (Are there gentleman reading this? Dad?), and at some point I stopped wanting to wear it because it was just too stressful. One time I wore it as a top because I pulled a suede accordion maxi skirt up over the bottom half of the dress, and I realized that I wished it was a top. For two months, I looked at that dress in my closet and thought I JUST WISH YOU WERE A TOP while projecting all of my preexisting anger onto it. It all came to a climax the night before I started my current internship, and I just grabbed a pair of scissors and snip snip snip. There was even a seam right where I was planning to cut, so I took it as a sign from a higher being.

#moody #seductive #kneesurgeryscars

I also have this pair of jeans that I’m obsessed with wearing since I hacked at them with my handy dandy scissors (I'm wearing them in my athletic picture). They’re a pair of oversized boyfriend jeans with tears in the knees. The legs were too long, and I never wore them because I felt unshapely/floppy. I saw the uneven hemline trend for jeans in March and really wanted a pair, but my bank account really didn’t want me to have them. Cue the scissors. I pulled out these jeans and just chopped about 3 inches off the bottom and then raised the front panel of the hem about an inch higher than the back. Voila! Now I wear them everywhere even though they do not fit me in the waist and are constantly falling down. My parents keep asking me if I have jeans that fit me, but my #haters are my #motivators!

My new BFF and I. 

That being said, it’s easy to go overboard. If you do decide to take a pair of scissors and start chopping away, start small. I tried to turn this old black tee from Mango into a muscle-cut shirt and it went poorly, I said, I have great depth perception/spatial awareness, I know how long an inch is. I did not.

Also, know what to cut. Thinking your J. Crew blazer would look better sleeveless? No, stop that. You are wrong. Put those scissors down.